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I, like most women I’ve spoken to, grew up feeling very weird about sex. Though I’m retrospectively grateful that my parents never spoke to me about the birds and bees (I’ve heard several horror stories of parents who liked to speak of them at length), a complete lack of conversation surrounding sex—and more specifically sexual wellness—was probably not the best approach either. In a society where women are generally taught to feel shameful about sex, this code of silence just made me feel even more guilty about my very natural (and frankly out-of-control) hormones, body parts, feelings, etc.
When I arrived at my very liberal liberal arts college freshman year, I quickly unlearned a lot of the shame I had been harboring re: sex, sexual wellness, and masturbation. Whereas my middle school friends and I used to swear that we had never even heard of the word masturbation, my college friends and I discussed the topic at length—sharing sex health tips and rightfully treating sex as a very important part of life and relationships. It was refreshing and comforting and sure, sometimes a little bit scary—but all in all, I was happy to be free of the rest of the world’s outdated approach to sex, where cis men are the only ones allowed to say they enjoy it.
Years and several rounds of sexual awakenings later, I stumbled upon Maude, a “modern intimacy company,” determined to flip the script on sexual wellness. Founded upon inclusivity, simplicity, and quality above all else, their products have saved my life on a number of occasions. But in the end, it’s one product in particular that has stolen my heart: their burn no.1 candle. Full disclosure: I’m a big candle person, so it’s easy for me to get obsessed. But what takes Maude’s candle to the next level is that it doubles as a massage candle; made of jojoba oil, the melted wax that accumulates after a little burning can be used on your skin (I know, heart eyes). Whether for a sexy massage or for some luxurious self-care, it’s truly a bedroom/bathroom/any-room must-have.
At this point, I’ve been obsessed with Maude for a while now: their mineral bath salts and coconut milk bath have treated my boyfriend and me to many romantic quarantine dates and the wipes are quite frankly a game-changer in the bed/bathroom. Oh, and how could I forget—I use their pH-balanced body wash (wash no. 0) every single day; it’s an incredible body wash and bubble bath that has the perfect amount of sud. My one (small) grudge with wash no. 0 was always that I wished it was scented; now that burn no. 1 has entered my life, I couldn’t care less.
At first, I really only used burn no. 1 in its most traditional sense: as, well, a candle. I’ve become a big bath taker in quarantine and the most important recipe to a good bath (besides wash no. 0) is a flickering, calming candle. burn no. 1’s warming notes of amber, cedar leaf, lemongrass, tonka bean and medjool date create the most incredible scent that I desperately hope they make into a perfume one day. Plus, the amber color of the packaging creates a gorgeous, warm, romantic light that is the perfect cherry on top.
After many baths with burn no. 1 and wash no. 0, I decided to take the candle’s massage capabilities for a spin. The warm wax was the perfect texture and I was shocked by how soft and hydrated my skin felt afterwards. Leave it to Maude to make a candle sexy, calming, and hydrating, too.
While my circle of friends has this “progressive” approach to sex, it’s clear that most of the world isn’t quite there yet. While there have been a number of impressive strides in the porn industry, it’s still riddled with issues, and the sexual wellness industry (toys, lube, and the like) is frankly archaic—toys “catered towards women” are really catered towards men and in the same fashion, lubricant often contains a number of ingredients that cause yeast infections (are you kidding me?!). In essence: it seems a lot of people are in need of a similar freshman-year-revelation.
I stumbled upon Maude at a particularly stressful time in my life, right after I got my first IUD. Lubricant was never a necessity to me before—I had dabbled in it from time to time, but the mess never felt worth it. Without getting too into detail here: because of some side effects of hormonal IUDs, I went looking for a good lube. I have a checklist of non-negotiables when looking for a new brand: are they sustainable? Do they hold representation as paramount as I do? Are they well-priced? Maude passed the test with flying colors.
Maude chooses sustainable packaging and ingredients whenever possible, but even more importantly—they’re in the business of safe sex, which ultimately leads to less disease and less unplanned pregnancies (both of which drive global poverty and environmental crises). As for representation, it’s at the very core of their brand: founded by a Latinx woman, Evá Goicochea, Maude’s blog “the maudern” touts an exquisite array of stories, interviews, and sex ed pieces, featuring many WOC and LGBTQ+ voices.
While I was always a Maude fan, burn no. 1 really pushed me more into the devotee realm. I’ve been telling anyone who will listen about it—from its other-wordly scent to its hydrating effects to it’s gorgeous packaging, it leaves little to be desired. And as someone who tries to be very intentional with what they buy, it’s a hard price to beat at $25 for a candle and massage oil, all in one.
• In addition to being gender, sexuality, and race-inclusive, Maude prides itself on being age-inclusive as well. The sexual wellness industry is certainly riddled with ageism, and we love that they’re encouraging folks of all ages to get a little freaky.
• They work with the best factories in the world to ensure safety and quality above all else.
• We love that their packaging is discrete. While I’m all about sex positivity, I’d rather not have a bright blue bottle that says “LUBE” on my nightstand. Maude’s lube (called “shine”), condom (called “rise”), and vibrator (called “vibe”) are discrete enough to be kept out for easy grabbing.
• Whereas some blogs just feel like branded fluff, the maudern is filled to the brim with real information and stories. I’ve found it an incredible resource with regard to sex education and tips.
• They’re a WOC-owned business, which we can (and will) always get behind.
